There has been much written and advocated on the appropriate approach to take before opening your mouth and causing hurt or anger in any set of circumstances.

It is often cited that the three key things to ask yourself are…

  1. Is it necessary?
  2. It is true?
  3. Is it kind?

However, what about when someone says something in the workplace which is inflammatory or hits a raw nerve? Or worse when a tense conversation gets out of hand? What approach can you take?

If you are in the thick of things and feel the temperature rising between you and your colleagues consider the following;

  1. Acknowledge the tension, often this is the best way to diffuse it.
  2. Acknowledge and accept the other person’s points genuinely and if you are really struggling to understand where they are coming from, say that. Also say in your request for further explanation that you are not trying to be difficult, but rather understand their position better.
  3. Go back to the start. If appropriate, remind yourself and the other parties of the reason you are all present. Go back to focusing on the problem.
  4. Immediately address your body language- if your face or hands are giving you away recompose them. Smile (briefly, not like a Cheshire cat!) to relax your face and sit on your hands.
  5. Avoid using phrases like, ‘you did that’, ‘you said that’ make it less personal. Instead use team based pronouns. ‘The way it happened…’ ‘The company…’ ‘We all..’.
  6. Avoid adjectives to describe a person or an idea as ‘ridiculous’, ‘stupid’ or ‘crazy’.
  7. Apologise if you have used the above in the heat of the moment and acknowledge that this was not what you meant to say and rephrase.
  8. If you are still able to be self-aware and know you are near breaking point ask for a five minute break to collect your thoughts.

For more help and advice chat with one of our experts today.

FREE GUIDE to determine if you have a good Employment tribunal Case

Not sure if you have a strong case or even any case at all for an employment tribunal?

Not sure if you should make a fuss? Feel lost and unsure? Download our free guide and in less than 5 minutes you'll know the answers and if you have a claim that might be worth something.

Learn how to get Compensation without going to Employment Tribunal.

BE your own Super CHAMPion

Learn everything you need to make a case for compensation in less than a week. Without the high cost of a lawyer, endlessly searching online and even going as far as an Employment Tribunal. If you are scared about going legal and having a drawn out process. We understand. If you just want to get some compensation to help rebuild your life, learn our proven tactics to get compensation through optimising the use of the statutory early conciliation process.


How to write a powerful appeal letter so your employer takes you seriously.

Learn how to create a powerful appeal letter which makes your employer really consider your case and understand that you are a force to be reckoned with...even if you are no good at letter writing.

If you have been dismissed  unfairly (sacked) or issued with a disciplinary warning with no process this detailed and effective training enables you to write a powerful appeal letter. Includes, templates, timelines and training.

online interview coming up?

Online interviews are definitely the future! If you need to reset your confidence levels for an online interview and not sure how to engage this course is for you. We cover the mindset and technology that you need to be successful and of course all the questions and the best responses and how to beat all the other candidates to the job. Plus there is an amazing session by a LinkedIn expert on how to impress and update your LinkedIn profile.


FREE Disciplinary Meeting Checklist Download

Never been to a disciplinary meeting? You're not alone! It's a scary thought. Worried about it being fair, how to act, what to say, what not to say and how to prepare? Download our free checklist so you go into the meeting feeling prepared, confident and able to challenge effectively. Our checklist will prepare you with everything you NEED to know.

redundancy appeal

redundancy APPEal Letter template

  Need to appeal your redundancy but not sure what to say and how to start? If you feel your redundancy was a sham or that redundancy has been used as an excuse or the company has not followed the lawful redundancy procedure. Download our quick and easy to use letter template an have your appeal letter ready in less than an hour. You'll write a professional, legally correct appeal letter stating your case intelligently. It is so easy to use as we've done all the work for you! Plus you can get support from a redundancy expert!